General Care Discussion :: Thanksgiving is here and I am a sad Red-Ear Slider owner...

[NewToRESoWning]

I blame myself...I mean, I was out there--couldn't I have checked on them then, or walked by their tank once and than maybe I could have caught it happening--before, it happened.

Guess, I'll get this off my chest and tell you guys--Turtle lovers and care givers what happened tonight. The night that was supposed to be a good night of all nights. Some of my family was arriving for Thanksgiving at my Aunts and my twin brother got here and I wanted to show him my two little guys/girls--(The Turts) and as soon as I walked up to the tank to look for one, I saw him/her. It looked as though, (We'll just call it a he) he was stuck behind the plastic pole parts of the dock and in my mind I was thinking oh goodie, I'll be able to get him out faster than usual, (He's the one that tends to hide more) then I touched him...he was so flimsy and lifeless, I couldn't cry because my brother was there, I had to laugh and joke about giving him CPR. Anyway I started blaming myself because I went into that room several times today--what if he was drowning then, and I did NOTHING, didn't even walk over there, check on them--ugh! So, I started making jokes about, well now I won't need too much of a larger tank, well now I have the nice one and mean one since he died, well now this and that--and I felt bad about that, is that the way I grieve? Even though I made harsh comments, I loved that turtle SO MUCH! And I really want to keep the turtle that is still alive and let him/her grow lots! So, what should I do with the dock, puts plants around the plastic poles or something so the other one can't get under there? The one that drowned was bigger so I don't see how he got under there and couldn't get back out. I just don't want it to happen again! So any idea's on what I should do would be great!

Thanks,

*Sob* Hugs would be cool too.

~~*~~Cassie~~*~~

P.S.And should I do a super tank clean up or something since he was in there--dead, I don't know how long he was dead...I swear I thought he moved when I picked him up. Am I ever going to have a turtle that lives a long time! I hope so, other two I had lived for 2-3 years--knew nothing about their care than though and they stayed in a small thing that they usually come in from beach shops. I'm a much better knowledgeable turtle care giver now!

[BullDog]

I'm so sorry to hear that!
Don't worry about your comments, we all deal with grief in different ways. Sometimes it helps to laugh.

For the dock, if it's the Zoo med dock I've heard of people turning it upside down, so the horizontal bar is at the top, and take the suction cups off the bottom.

This year I found out there is such a thing as turtle CPR.
http://www.allturtles.com/care_sheets/first_aid.php#11
I've got that page bookmarked now.

Very sorry for your loss. Remember all the good memories you have of him.

[briannashea]

I'm really sorry for your loss. don't blame yourself - accidents do happen and we can't always be there to save our pets when bad stuff occurs. I'm a crappy mourner, too, especially when I care deeply about things. on the surface it's easy to act like it doesn't bother me, as if I'm trying to convince myself that I'm not upset, and then in private I let go a little bit for the sake of the things I know I'll miss. I cried over sega's death a week after and still felt the sting of his loss. it sucks, but you can't be angry at yourself for the way you choose to grieve. it's a really crappy thing to go through when you devote so much time to caring for a pet. get through it however you feel comfortable.

in addition to bulldog's suggestion, you can also look into making an above tank basking area for your other turtle which would have no parts to get stuck behind. lots of people on here make gorgeous innovative ATBAs and post great pictures too, and love telling other owners how to make their own. sorry again for your loss, I hope you're doing okay :)

[steve]

I'm sorry to hear it. Turtles have such curious personalities, it's difficult to prepare for all possible situations.

[moldygrape]

THERES REALLY NOTHING YOU COULD HAVE DONE YOU CANT BE THERE 24/7 BUT NOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT TURTS CAN GET STUCK THATS GUNNA BE YOUR NEW PROJECT TO FIX IT FOR YOUR OTHER TURT AND DONT WORRY I SAY THE WORST THINGS SOMETIMES TO TRY TO KEEP MYSELF FROM BREAKING DOWN IN FRONT OF PEOPLE BUT ITS OK TO CRY HE WAS YOUR PET.....NOW TRY TO FOCUS ON MAKING A ATBA FOR YOUR OTHER TURT OR SOMETHING NEW CHANGE THE TANK AROUND GIVE IT A CHANGE ..... WHAT I DID WAS MAKE A LITTLE SIGN THAT SAID MY TURTS NAME THAT DIED AND HAVE IT CLOSE TO THE TANK JUST TO REMEMBER! AND ONCE AGAIN IM SORRY AND DONT BLAME YOURSELF IT HAPPENS HOPE YOUR DOING OK!

[Sassamo]

Rest in peace little one.
I hope you don't tear yourself up about this too much, there is no way you could have known that you would expierence this loss.
I too would have tried too joke around with all the company over, trying not too let people see how hurt and sad I was.
Make sure too let yourself grive, nothing is worse then keeping it all pent up inside.
(((hugs)))

[joeybsmooth]

I gave by turtles some bad fish, and one died. I Joked about him a little bit and acted as if my families jokes did not hurt. But I cried afterwards when it was just be and my mother. I am a 250 Rugby pound player and I was crying over my turtle so it is ok to cry . And be sad .

It hit be SO hard because for years I did not take care of my turtle right, I liked my turtle and I did not know what I was doing was bad . So I got a lot of knew stuff, began to do Everything right. And then he just died becuase I got bad fish . Many other people here have stories like that. So we have been there and we are here to help.

[TheComputerGremlin]

Don't be too harsh on yourself, we all deal with death in different ways. When family members have passed away (and we're talking people here), my father frequently uses jokes like you described to deal with his grief. Anyone who knows my dad is used to it, he really tries to not say things, but they just come out. Meanwhile, if they didn't know him that well, they would think he was cruel and uncompassionate.

Just take care of your other turtle extra well and fix that dock issue.

[mikee]

Yep! They can get themselves into places they cannot get out of. Just do the best you can an move on. Get another one and try and look out for the little traps they can get into. Good Luck! m.

[zoologist]

sorry for your loss. We had one of our turtles drown and it was pretty hard on all of us just remember the good times and look into that ATBA!

[ilikeadabox]

Oh I'm sorry
*Hugs*

[bradmeisel]

I'm so sorry for your loss. That must have been a horrible thing to go through. You have my sincere condolences.