I went into the bait shop last night to get some earthworms for my boxie. I know that the guy is just a regular joe and has no reason to know anything about what to feed a turtle, but...
I go in, ask for the worms, he asks if I'm going fishing. I said no, I'm feeding a turtle. I asked about how the worms were kept, etc. He says "won't he just eat turtle food?" and I told him that my turt is still small and will only eat things that wiggle. He suggests FRENCH FRIES and JUBE-JUBES

I looked at him like he was crazy and he said "they'll eat fries y'know".
I'm just relieved that this guy's running a bait shop and not a pet store.
The things that come to those who wait may be the things that were left by those who got there first - Steven Tyler